Archive for August, 2006

Approaching mixed sets and other questions.

August 18, 2006

By Renegade

I’ve had several questions come in, so I’m going to incorporate the answers to all of them in one email. I have 22 topics for new articles I’m working on and will get to over the coming weeks.

The first issue I’m going to address is approaching mixed sets. I can tell you from experience, the most impressive thing you can do in front of a woman is talk to her when she is with another guy. Women know how socially difficult it is to approach at all, let alone with another guy there. All the times I have done it, I have seen the woman warm up immediately and shoot IOIs. If you have the belief that it is difficult to approach mixed sets or that you will be blown out, then you can change it. In most cases, you are playing amateur psychic “they must be together,” “he’ll tool me or kick my ass,” etc, etc. The truth is, you don’t know anything about them, all you know is about yourself and that you are just a friendly guy who wants to talk to them. People who respond negatively to friendly people aren’t worth knowing.

Practise this. Approach couples on the street that are obviously together/married. Ask only the woman in each couple a question. The guy will most likely answer, but nothing will happen. Do this 30 times. During the exercise, say to yourself, “I am starting to change the belief that it is hard to talk to women with guys. Then, when you are finished, you can say to yourself, “I can now talk to any woman already with a guy.”

At an energetics workshop with men and women I did recently, a guy raised a concern that if he approached a woman, she would tell him to “fuck off.” One of the women in the room was a 20 year old hot film student who told us she liked to go dancing and get wild. She told us about a hypothetical situation where she would tell a guy to fuck off. She said when she goes out dancing she rarely has any underwear on. She likes to get crazy and said it wasn’t uncommon for her to flash her pussy at guys. She said if a guy came over to her and said something like, “nice pussy, can I stick my cock in it?” she would tell him to fuck off. Ask yourself, is what you are doing the same as that?

This leads into opening. I asked her about opening on the street. I said I would stop a woman and make a comment based on a cold read – independent, adventurous, etc. I would then compliment her on having that trait and ask her if she would like to have coffee with me. All the women in the room said that would work on them. You have to be clear about your intentions from the beginning because the first thing they think about is safety. “What the fuck does this guy want?” What the fuck do you want? If you ask her the time, that’s your deal. If you ask her where the post office is, that’s your deal. If you ask her out to coffee, that’s your deal, and you need to have a reason why you are asking her.

The next area I want to address is story telling. In the course of the workshop, I told a few personal stories. I would drop in the odd fuck here or asshole there when speaking and over dinner after one of the days, another student told me he thought my use of swear words was endearing and he could tell it was simply for emphasis. He could tell I was animated, and enthusiastic. That’s what I recommend to you, don’t be concerned about the subject or your language, just be committed and experience the feelings you are talking about. You had the most fun in your entire life doing X? Then re-live that as you tell the story. The other people listening to your story will also feel it. The other big thing is to have a punchline. What is the climax of your story? Do you leave people thinking “wow, I’m glad I heard that” or “what a fucking bore?”

Another thing I have been asked about are gimmicks. Magic, balloons, etc. You don’t need it, any of it, unless you are a performer and are actually being paid for your services. The instructor for the workshop I did was incredibly charismatic, but he was also enigmatic. He never did anything in a predictable way and the other students would make comments like, “I can’t get a good read on him.” If you can develop the ability to become enigmatic, people will be drawn to you and away from the magician. This is not to say you can’t be entertaining, just focus the result of that entertaining on the other person. Teach them something new about themselves.

Does one have to be the loudest or the one with most energy to come across as the alpha male? This is the single biggest problem with the seduction community, that men think they need to be loud, or aggressive to be ‘alpha.’ It is untrue. You could be 5′ tall, with a relaxed, warm energy and will attract more women than the loud, obnoxious asshole type i.e over-blown self confidence and bravado with inner feelings of panic and LSE. Being alpha is about being in control of yourself. The lion King doesn’t fight with the others. He gives them one look and they slink away with their heads down. All the beta lions fight it out amongst themselves. But we’re humans, not fucking lions, so I think you should just forget about the whole alpha thing. Clear your energy, become relaxed and happy, develop an enigmatic nature and people will be drawn to you magnetically before you even open your mouth.

How to make a gay girl straight? Simple, associate the feelings of sexual pleasure she gets with women to you. If she is already a good friend, she should be happy to answer your questions. Find out what she values in a sexual partner. How does she know when she is really attracted to someone? If you are against eliciting people’s values, tell her a story about your values in a sexual partner and let her relate to you. Find out what’s important to her about those values. At the highest level, you will probably get to something like freedom, or connection. Speak about things with you as offering more freedom or connection. This reminds me of another article I need to write about persuasion. If you feel comfortable going totally sexual, you could also say something like this.

“HBgay, won’t it be great when we’ve given each other intense sexual pleasure? Afterwards, you’ll smile to yourself and think about how this has been the most sexually intense feeling you’ve ever felt. The more you think about the reasons why we can’t enjoy each other’s bodies, the more you realize that this [point to self] is something you want to do.”

If you are in rapport, you can get away with anything. Always remember that.

Next, I’ll deal with approaching (again), closing and wings. Approaching is simple – what’s your deal. Start out with a simple deal like “what’s the time?” When she answers, say “awesome, time for coffee, would you like to have coffee with me?” The key to all of this is to not take it too seriously. Relax, just be a friendly guy. If you wanted to be a friendly guy, what would that look like? What would it feel like? What would you say and do?

Once you find out someone’s values – either directly or indirectly, they will experience a strong connection with you. You won’t need banter or a routine to close her, it will happen organically.

I mostly sarge during the day, by myself. I don’t need someone to hold my hand when I am sleeping with her, so wings aren’t really an issue for me. Go out by yourself. Who cares? People worry someone might ask where their friends are, but no one cares. Don’t go around explaining yourself. Very few people in this world care what you think. It’s a very liberating realization when you think about it. It means you can think whatever you want to, for the most part.

If you go out to clubs, and still feel the need to go with someone, find a wing with a similar energy, not someone who will bring you down. When you go out, you invariably end up separated, talking to different people at some point, so why not just imagine your wing is ‘over there’ and be a friendly guy and talk to people. I also think you should go out with someone you want to talk to. If you’re just going to stand on death row, beer in hand in silence with your wing, don’t bother going out. Pounding 15 beers in order to squeeze out a lame opinion opener does not a PUA make.

As for meeting people, what are you interested in? Sports, books, etc. There must be some groups in your city/town with these interests. Stop people on the street and ask them what they value in friendship. You will get new friends simply by doing that.

Since taking this workshop, I’ve experienced a very big shift in my personal magnetism. Random women open me and women with guys approach and smile at me. They are already interested when they come over and it is simply because of my energy. Having a good energy is best way to be a friendly guy and ultimately pickup women.

As always, I welcome your feedback. How did you like this information? What other questions do you have as a result of reading it?

Regards,
Renegade

Renegade writes for http://PUAhelpdesk.com and is dedicated to mastering the art of Seduction. He believes that knowledge inspires confidence, confidence inspires action and the more action you take, the more powerful you will become.

** This information may be reproduced/transmitted provided the author profile which appears at the end of the article is left intact. Where the article is published electronically, the above link must also be live. **

Advertisements

A number, an email or contact information?

August 3, 2006

by Renegade

You see a stunning woman from across the room. After the requisite 3 seconds, you take action and engage her in conversation. You interact with her, make her smile, laugh and realize you are a person worth knowing. Assuming neither of you have time to continue the interaction elsewhere, you need someway to contact her again. But how?

There are 2 schools of thought when it comes to number closing. One, getting numbers is awesome. It doesn’t matter what else happens, you got a number! Two, numbers are wood. If that woman can’t agree to make plans to see you again on the spot, it probably won’t happen.

I advocate that numbers are wood. This doesn’t mean you never get them, it simply means you get a commitment from her to meet you again first.

If you’ve seen Glengarry Glen Ross, you might remember the scene where Sheldon Levine pleads with Williamson for the Glengarry leads, saying the ones he has are shit. Blake (Alec Baldwin) later tells him to put the coffee down, because coffee is for closers. You don’t need more leads, you simply need to close the ones you get on the spot.

Lance Mason, aka Sensei from Pickup101 says if you can’t convince her to meet you another time while you are interacting with her face to face, what chance do you have over the phone or even email?

You’ve been charismatic and funny right there in front of her. She is in state, she is feeling the vibe. How are you going to do better than that 3 days later after she has met probably 5 other guys and you get the dreaded “who’s calling” response?

In the cases where I can’t get a commitment from the woman, I walk. I’m not interested in pandering to her ego. I have better things to do with my time and so should you.

In the case of giving her your number, she has to call you, so you have no input as to when or if she will contact you. But in most cases, she won’t contact you. Ever. You are also giving her all the control, which is unattractive to a hot woman. If they want your number, call her on it. Tell her if you can’t convince her to meet you in person, then it isn’t going to happen. Say it was a pleasure meeting her and walk away. You have to be prepared to walk away in order to win in this game. How many guys do you think do that to her?

The best way then, is to make plans to meet for coffee, etc, on such a day, at such a time. Ask if you can count on her to contact you if something happens (invoking the law of commitment), then exchange “contact information.” This alone will reduce flakes by 30%.

You could say something like, “its been great chatting with you, let’s continue this another time over a coffee, I want to show you X routine, Y story, etc.” Make it easy for her to say yes by getting her very curious about something you have to offer or can show her. You have to stand out in some way.

Lance says he will put his number into her phone, using an outrageous name, like studly guy, or anything else outside the norm that will stand out. You want her to think, “cool, this guy from the other day is calling,” not, “I guess I better deal with this loser.”

Ross Jeffries says that women categorize things in various ways. Doing their laundry, running errands, changing their tampons, are all annoying things they have to do. You never want to be in the same category as some annoying thing she has to take care of.

You can also get her email address and send something through before the planned meeting. The real key is to:

Meet her
Get her interested
Arrange to meet her again by making her curious
Ask to exchange contact information
Act in no way needy during any of this

Lance will also call her number right there in front of her and have a mini conversation with her, saying things like, “Hey X, it’s me. You’ll never guess, but I just met the cutest girl. Oh hang on, she’s looking at me right now. I want to meet her for coffee. Do you think I should kiss her? etc, etc.” All done in a fun and playful way. This also acts a way to condition her to receiving a call from you and hearing your voice/seeing your number on her phone, etc.

Try it out. Next time you meet a woman, ask her to meet you again before you get her number. If she says no, go back into making her interested/curious. When you make the date, invoke the law of commitment and exchange contact information. A day or so before the time, contact her to get her thinking about you. Email is the most effective for this. She can read it any time and when you get a reply, you will see when she had the time to contact you. You now have a better idea of a time to call her when you know she will be available.

Renegade writes for PUAhelpdesk.com and is dedicated to mastering the art of Seduction. He believes that knowledge inspires confidence, confidence inspires action and the more action you take, the more powerful you will become.

** This article may be reproduced/transmitted provided the author profile which appears at the end of the article is left intact. Where the article is published electronically, the above link must also be live. **